The post awards season malaise continues unabated this week with the release of two contenders for Worst Film of 2012. The ludicrously monikered McG scores a hatrick of stinkers with This Means War, which follows Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle and Terminator Salvation into an unenviable pantheon of awfulness. Vying for the turkey of the week prize is Project X, a film that will make you hate teenagers. Elsewhere, Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston once again team up,15 years after starring together in The Object of My Affection, in Wanderlust, Putin’s dirty politics are exposed in Khodorkovsky and Austrian film Michael portrays a discomfiting tale of paedophilia.
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What if…the Academy weren’t such pussies? How the Oscars should have played out
24 Feb
The Oscars have a bad rep and it’s getting worse. The primary problem lies in the fact that the decision makers, the Academy, are a bunch of dinosaurs who shy away from controversy by favouring schmaltzy fare over innovation and it seems real talent. Worse still, a couple of more disturbing trends have emerged in recent years.
THE LOWDOWN WEEKS 6&7
23 FebWhere there is wheat there is inevitably chaff. And February’s cinematic harvest has produced an inordinate amount of chaff, as evidenced by the dross currently being served up at the box office. It’s a veritable graveyard out there at the moment and unfortunately it’s one that is populated by the likes of Danny Dyer, annoying kids with tambourines and Nic Cage’s flaming head.
THE LOWDOWN WEEK 5
15 FebAh mid-February, too late for awards season and too early for the summer blockbuster. So instead this week we’re left with an awkward smorgasbord of re-releases, half term fodder and studio leftovers, AKA awards friendly pics that were overlooked in the run up.
No surprises as The Artist dominates the Baftas
14 FebAwards darling The Artist swept the board at Sunday night’s 65th Baftas, winning in seven of the 12 categories it was nominated in. The British film industries premier film awards ceremony, held in the luxurious surroundings of the Royal Opera House, was a somewhat staid and predictable undertaking, offering up little in the way of surprises.
Host Stephen Fry did his best to irreverently mug his way through proceedings, lest he let our global showcase turn into an Oscar-esque snoozefest, but the distinct lack of any leftfield wins lent the whole affair a rather pedestrian air.
Patrick Bateman on Whitney Houston
13 FebOf all the tributes I’ve heard since Whitney Houston’s death, not one has come close to Patrick Bateman’s eloquent summary of her first album in American Psycho, which you can see here.
“Did you know that Whitney Houston’s debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston had four number one singles on it? Did you know that, Christie? It’s hard to choose a favourite among so many great tracks, but “The Greatest Love of All” is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation, dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instils one with the hope that it’s not too late to better ourselves. Since, Elizabeth, it’s impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It’s an important message, crucial really. And it’s beautifully stated on the album.”
Bateman listening to Whitney Houston no doubt...
Internets shitstorm over latest Prometheus photo
9 FebIn a mad, mad week just before Christmas last year, the world lost their collective shit over trailers for The Hobbit, The Dark Knight Rises and Prometheus. Fanboys obliterated the twittersphere with ‘debate’ about Bane’s nonsensical mumblings, admiration for a dwarf chorus and a whole lot of second guessing about a Space Jockey mask.
But it was Ridley Scott’s Alien prequel teaser that wiped the floor with that of the chiropteran man and the vertically challenged inhabitants of The Shire.
Thankfully (read: tediously and unnecessarily) the web was soon awash with frame by frame deconstructions of Ridley’s teaser, effectively defeating the entire purpose of the deliberately ambiguous rapid fire trailer. Since then, every time a new Prometheus image surfaces online, the latest of which can be seen here, we are treated to more speculation about what it all means.
Holy Swastika Shaped Moon Base Batman!
8 FebImagine my surprise and indeed excitement when back in May last year an email popped into my inbox entitled “The Moon Nazi Film Iron Sky Gets a Release Date And a New Teaser”. The expression “you had me at moon Nazi” has never been more apt.
Scraping my salivating jaw off my keyboard I thus read on. As it transpired, said moon Nazi film was actually a Finnish-German-Australian (say what? This just gets better!) production that had been in the works for five years. Whilst I mused that maybe “Moon Nazi’s” might have been a better title, I soon realised that this pic was even more epic than it first appeared.
London Evening Standard British Film Awards: 90% spot on
7 FebThe BAFTA countdown heated up last night with the 39th London Evening Standard British Film Awards, held at the London Film Museum.
An untimely fire alarm interrupted the stars pre-awards champagne quaffing, but unperturbed by the inconvenient interruption events were soon back on track.
THE LOWDOWN WEEK 4
6 FebSuperhero geeks of the world unite, because 2012 looks set to be the year of the nerdgasm. Just about every superhero name under the shadow of Vulcan is set to receive a big screen outing this year with the likes of The Avengers, Batman (The Dark Knight Rises) and Spiderman all setting box office tasers to Ka-ching. Or something? Anyway, to get your collective juices flowing, this week we’re treated to Chronicle, a sort of Heroes/Cloverfield (but with brains attached) type hybrid.
If superkids smashing things up with spooky powers doesn’t sound like your thing, then there’s a plethora of quality fare on offer elsewhere. Polanski treats us to delectable comedy Carnage, there’s an alliteration phobics worst nightmare in the form of hippy cult thriller Martha Marcy May Marlene and Charlize Theron plays a character called Mavis (come on!) in Young Adult.
crash/burn 