1 May


UK film fans Assemble! Despite sporting the worst film title in recent memory, Avengers Assemble hits our screens this weekend and will do phenomenal business. Genre geeks will fuel the numbers given that both 3D and 2D versions are on offer, but Joss Whedon also lends the pic crossover appeal that will draw filmgoers regardless of whether they’ve seen Thor, Iron Man et al. Whedon’s pic pits our heroic troupe against intergalactic mischief-maker Loki who is seemingly intent on taking over the world (now where have I heard that one before?) and as expected explosive havoc reigns. Yet pithy bickering and a razor-sharp script ensure that this is superior to much of what has come before.

The might of the Avengers puts every other release this weekend in the shade, so it’s worth looking back at what else is still on offer from previous weeks. Equally explosive CGI stupidity can be found in Battleship, which has been playing to packed out houses across the country despite a generally miserable critical reception. Peter Berg’s pic is big, brash and brainlessly jingoistic, but it’s also visually impressive. It’s just a shame that watching the US Navy going tete-a-tete with destructive aliens just isn’t that exciting. A dreadful script and some woeful acting don’t exactly help proceedings.

Lockout 1

Brains can also be checked in at the door prior to viewing Lockout. This Luc Besson penned old school sci-fi pic stars the always superb Guy Pearce as Snow, a former government agent who is tasked with rescuing the President’s daughter (Maggie Grace) from a dangerous space prison. Personally I think it sounds epic.

For those of you who are less enamoured with things blowing up, there’s another contender for worst film title ever Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, which sounds so boring that just reading it aloud is enough to bring on narcolepsy. In fact, a few explosions might have livened up this sappy tale of fishing expert (zzzZ) Dr Jones (Ewan McGregor) who joins forces with consultant Harriet Chetwode-Talbot (Emily Blunt) to introduce salmon fishing to the Yemen (ZZZZzzz). Someone wake me up when this pain is over….

Pain of a different sort is meted out on the protagonists of the Joss Whedon penned The Cabin in the Woods, a deliciously subversive take on the horror genre. Clever, funny and utterly innovative, this is a film that could change the face of horror forever. Do not miss what could be one of the best films this year.

This leaves us with Strippers vs Werewolves for which there’s nothing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen, cinema has well and truly eaten itself…

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